Ge. 49: You call that a blessing?

Chapter 49 is basically the blessing of Jacob's sons before he dies. So after blessing Joseph and his sons in private, he calls the remaining eleven in.

Reuben - Jacob's firstborn, and symbol of his strength. He is told he will no longer excel, because he defiled his father's bed. This is in reference to the tryst he had with Jacob's concubine back in Gen. 35:22. Interesting that Jacob didn't say anything much about it back then, but waited all these years to bring it up, and it was severe enough that Reuben would continue life with unease.

Simeon, Levi - Jacob denounces their anger and violence, referring to their pillaging of Shechem in Gen. 34. So much does Jacob want to distance himself from their anger, that he reports that they will be dispersed. Simeon and Levi were probably about as close as brothers could be, that part of this was that they would have to be separated. The Bible doesn't say that, its just a guess. Their rampage had them listed together, as did this ... curse, I guess.

Judah - In spite of the rather bizarre circumstances in which Judah placed himself in chapter 38, he gets off pretty good. At least from a material standpoint. He will have an advantage over his enemies, his brothers will bow before him, he will be in a place of lordship, have choice wine, and white teeth. Who wouldn't want that?

Zebulun - Basically told he will become a harbormaster, and have a border to Sidon. Neat. Good for you, Zeb.

Isaachar - He will labor doggedly like a strong donkey. He will become a slave or a forced laborer. That stinks. But he probably did something to deserve such a curse. Maybe he was lazy around the house?

Dan - He will provide justice for his people. He will be a serpent by the roadside, and will bite the horses heels so that its rider tumbles backward. The third reference so far to striking the heel, along with Gen. 3:15, and Gen. 25:26.

Verse 18 is kind of an interjection: "I look for your deliverance, O LORD." I don't know if that is part of what Israel is saying bout Dan, in that he will be a deliverer, or if he needs strength to finish talking to the boys. I'm not sure.

Gad - He will be attacked by raiders, but will attack them at their heels. So...the heels again. He'll have the last laugh on whoever will attack him? His name also had something to do with

Asher - Apparently will become some sort of a gourmand, providind delicacies fit for a king. But he will not be the king. Perhaps a servant in some king's court, frying up the mozz sticks.

Naphtali - A doe set free that bears beautiful fawns. So he will create something beautiful. Not sure if that means his kids, maybe some sort of art...KJV says "goodly words." Songs, I don't know.

Joseph - Ever the favorite, blessings are heaped upon him. A fruitful vine, near a spring, whose branches climb over a wall. Lots of land, territory? God steadied him while arrows flew. God was his help. Blessings from above, from the deep, in offspring. Blessings greater than that of the mountains, than the fruit of the hills. He is declared to be prince among his brothers...he will be elevated above them all. That's pretty slick.

Benjamin - A ravenous wolf, devouring the prey in the morning, dividing the plunder in the evening. So, he will take what he wants first and fast, and then split it up in the evening.

And here were established the twelve tribes of Israel. And each of them received the blessing due.

Israel then gives instructions on how he is to be buried. First off, he says he is about to be gathered to his people. I don't know what the deal is with the afterlife just yet. The Bible doesn't yield much about the afterlife to this point. Heaven is a place. Angels went up and down a staircase from it. A tower was built in attempt to reach it. I may have missed something, but in Genesis, I don't recall anything being mentioned about an afterlife or a next world or anything like that. There is a belief that life continues beyond death, as Israel mentioned in verse 29. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Anyway, he wants to be buried in the cave of the field of Ephron the Hittite, the one Abraham bought at a high price in chapter 23. It is after all where Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, and Leah are buried. Rachel was buried in Bethlehem, at Benjamin's birth.

Verse 33 is where Israel breathes his last, and is gathered to his people, as with Isaac. So the Bible says this, rather than reporting what someone said. Which is different. So wherever Jacob went, there were his ancestors.

Ge. 47: Settling in Goshen, Egypt Enslaved

Joseph reports to Pharaoh that Jacob and his family are now in Egypt, and living in Goshen. He takes five of his brothers and presents them to Pharaoh and they tell him that they are shepherds, moved to Egypt from Canaan, because of the severity of the famine. They had no pasture. They asked Pharaoh's permission to stay in Goshen. Pharaoh, because of his appreciation for what Joseph has meant to him, gives his blessing.

Then old man Jacob comes in. He's so old, Pharaoh can't help but be like, "How old are you old timer?" Jacob says "A buck thirty. But no where near as difficult as the years of my fathers."

Joseph settles them in Rameses, the Ada of Egypt, and provided them with land and food according to their children.

And there is much rejoicing.

But, all of Egypt didn't have any food. So big government takes over. First the people spent all their money on grain. Then the money was all gone. Joseph had it all.

The people came before Joseph in need, and since they had no money, Joseph suggested they trade their livestock. So the livestock becomes property of Pharaoh. Then all the livestock was gone.

The people came before Joseph in need, and since they had no livestock, Joseph bought them into servitude. So the people become property of Pharaoh. The only way they would not die is to become slaves.

Well that sucks. Joseph enslaved Egypt. Nice guy.

The priests were under a different system. Pharaoh paid for them. Apparently they had no separation of church and state. The clergy were government employees.

So not only were the people of Egypt slaves, they had to give back 1/5 of their crop yields to the Pharaoh. And it became law. So the Israelites settled in Egypt in the land of Goshen. They, as opposed to the Egyptians, acquired proprty and were fruitful. When Jacob was 147, he asked that Joseph take him out of Egypt and bury him in the land of his fathers. Joseph swore it to him.

Ge. 46: Jacob goes to Egypt

So Israel/Jacob (the Bible goes back and forth on this. Not really sure why. Maybe it goes way back where in one place it's Jon, and in another it's John. Is this enough to make me renounce my faith? Probably.) packs up the entirety of his possessions and heads south to Egypt. When he gets to Beersheba, he offered sacrifices to the LORD.

Anyway, in chapter 46, God spoke to Israel in a vision. I wonder if God was silent for this long time while Joseph was in Egypt. Apparently God told him nothing about what was going on with Joseph. Even in the midst of Israel's heartbreak and mourning, God was silent. As a human person, my reaction to this realization is, "Well, isn't God a God of comfort?" And God is. The comfort comes with quick answers, and sometimes it takes years to get the answers. God didn't let Israel drown in his despair. A father's beloved son was given over to death, and while Israel wept, God had planned out the entire path. Ending in an amazing posterity.

Anyway...yeah, God spoke to Israel, saying "I am your God, don't be afraid to go to Egypt, for there I will make you a great nation, and I will bring you back again. Joseph's own hand will close your eyes." I'm guessing the "close your eyes" thing refers to the time at death where Joseph will be there to close his eyes...to bury him.

So the whole family packs up and moves on from there...once again, visual learner:

Israel and Jacob meet in Goshen, and its what you would expect....very emotional, they threw their arms around each other, and wept for a long time. Israel is ready to die now that he has seen that Joseph is still alive.

Then Joseph wants to introduce the whole gang to Pharaoh. So he tells them to tell Pharaoh the truth about what they do and who they are, since they are detestable shepherd types. If they do that, then they'll be able to settle in Goshen. Nice!

Ge. 35: Jacob's Refuge; Birth in Bethlehem

In spite of Jacob's fear, God yet again proves His faithfulness and His covenant in chapter 35. Still reeling from his sons' devastating Shechem offensive, Jacob is visited by God and told to go back to Bethel, the place where he had that weird Angel Stairway Dream back in Gen. 28:12. Why would God tell Jacob to go back there?

I believe because Bethel was established as a place of refuge. Jacob found a place to rest there in fleeing Esau. He had a meaningful encounter with God there, in which God grabbed a hold of Jacob's attention by conferring upon him the covenant He had made with Jacob's forefathers. This was a new chance for Jacob's family to go back to that place after many years, and sort of recenter, refocus, and refresh themselves. It would be a time of purging, of cleanliness.

They changed their clothes, rid themselves of any foreign Gods or charms they may have been taking with them, and set out for Bethel.

Verse 5 is amazing. Can you imagine being in that caravan, making your way to Bethel, and as verse 5 says, "The terror of God fell upon the towns all around them so that no one pursued them." What deliverance! The towns? No one came after Jacob out of fear. I wonder if this is similar to the fear that God put into the animal kingdom in regard to man waaay back in Gen. 9:2. God has certainly established Himself as the protector of those who fear him. Lets not forget that these towns may have had an interest in exacting vengeance on Jacob (Gen. 34:30). When you know without a doubt you can have no fear, what amazing opportunities open up to you, and you can focus on the beautiful things of life, and what God has planned.

Jacob arrived there, and built another altar to God, calling it El Bethel, or God of Bethel, in a display of humility and rededication.

Verse 8 mentions the death of Rebekah's nurse, and that she was buried under the old oak tree in Bethel...not sure what that's all about. Maybe this was in time past...and they remembered Deborah. Or maybe she was traveling with the posse. Not sure. If I had to guess, I'd say this is a current (for the time of the story) event.

God appears to Jacob again, and reiterates the covenant, and the name Israel. God repeats the covenant. When I see repetition in the Bible, it seems to be either important, a challenge or both. I don't remember precisely, but I think Isaac got a review. I know Abraham did.

Verse 11, where God says, "I am God Almighty..." Wow. If that sends my spine a-quiver, then I can't fathom being there at that time with God saying it directly into my ear. Whether God was yelling it, or whispering it, I imagine there would be no difference in awe.

Hmm.

Anyway, God blesses Him, and tells him to be fruitful and multiply. And Jacob set up another pillar, oiled it up real nice, and called it Bethel. Again.

While Israel was traveling from Bethel to Ephratah, a very pregnant Rachel went into labor. And there was great difficulty in childbirth for Israel's offspring. Birth pains, big time. "Don't be afraid, you have another son," the midwife said to Rachel. Rachel called her son Ben-Oni because she was dying. Israel renamed him Benjamin. So the child's name goes from meaning "son of my trouble" to meaning "son of my right hand." So, a pretty important son is born with trouble in Bethlehem, where Rachel is buried.

Israel moves on to Midgal Eder. While they were there, Leah's oldest, Reuben goes in a sleeps with Bilhah, Rachel's maidservant. Israel, cool as ever, heard about it, as the Bible says, but the Bible doesn't report anything further.

Rather there is a genealogy of Jacob.

With Leah: Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, Zebulun
With Rachel: Joseph, Benjamin
With Bilhah: Dan, Naphtali
With Zilpah: Gad, Asher

Finally, Jacob makes it home to his father Isaac in Mamre. Isaac live to be 180 years old. And Jacob must have reconciled with Esau and explained his little detour in chapter 33, because they both bury their father.

Isaac: 2038 - 2218

Ge. 33: The Meeting and the Reconciliation...?

After wrestling God, and now beset with a limp, looking up and seeing Esau and his posse rolling up was probably the last thing Jacob needed. After putting his group in order, Jacob hobbles up to the front, and begins bowing before Esau, still not knowing how he was going to react.

I know the feeling. I am not a fan of confrontation. It is agonizing to me. And there is nothing worse for me than letting something simmer for a long time, and when I was growing up, there was nothing I wanted to hear less than, "Wait till your father gets home." That was not pleasant. That's how I imagine Jacob felt, with the knots in his stomach, and the shortness of breath...just can't wait for it to be over.

But he could breathe easy. Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and kissed him. What a relief. Have you ever been so relieved about something that you just wept?

Esau sees the entourage Jacob brought with him, and like a long-lost uncle, wants to meet the wife...wives. And the nephews. The family he hadn't met.

After 20 years, Esau more or less accepted the idea that his younger twin received his birthright. Esau had to go out and make it happen for himself, and it sounds like he did pretty good for himself, in how he responded to Jacob telling him all these animals were gifts for him. He flatly refuses to accept them, but eventually does when Jacob insists, citing that it was God who was the source of his wealth.

Esau is excited to be with his brother again, so he wants to travel with him. Jacob tells him the little ones...human and non...need to go slow, so he tells Esau to go ahead of him, and Jacob will catch up to him in Seir. Esau wants to leave some of his men with Jacob...probably to aid him in protection. Jacob will have nothing of it, saying he wants to find favor in the Lord. Either Jacob is plotting something, or he wants to be like his grandfather back in chapter 14, not accepting help or assistance from anyone but God. Clearly, he does not want to have Esau with him. I do not know why this is...this is a sudden change of pace, from wanting only to find favor in Esau's eyes, to know doing his best to get rid of him.

So Esau heads to Seir like he said, while Jacob heads somewhere else. He builds shelters for his camels and calls it Succoth. Then he goes and camps by the city of Shechem in Canaan. He buys the plot of land where he camps from Hamor, and builds an altar, calling it El Elohe Israel...God is the God of Israel.

Jacob still must not be trusting of Esau. Maybe he had good reason. Esau probably didn't hold ill will in his heart toward Jacob, but Jacob had no way of knowing that, and it's too bad. It didn't have to be this way. Esau didn't have to be all over dramatic and shortsighted, and Jacob didn't have be deceptive to someone in the worst way. It's easy for me to like Esau more than Jacob here, but God chooses who He chooses, apparently, regardless of their likability. Which is good for me.

Ge. 31: Jacob Bails, Laban Freaks

So Jacob finds out he's being falsely accused of stealing all Laban owned, and getting rich off of Laban. And surprise, surprise, Jacob notices that maybe Laban isn't as fond of him as he once was. Then God appears to Jacob and tells him to go back the land of Isaac. So Jacob rounds up the posse. He explains to Rachel and Leah that in spite of the constant of his work, Laban has changed his wages ten times. In spite of the oft-changing Laban, it has been the LORD who has been constant.

Of special interest to me is that God doesn't make Jacob stick around and face down this conflict with his uncle. He doesn't cram Jacob and Laban together in some sort of emotional octagon and settle their differences and come to some sort of a reconciliation. Rather, the LORD tells Jacob to go back home, to flee this danger. This is the opposite of how God tells Hagar to deal with Sarah. Perhaps this is because Jacob worked will his strength to please his uncle, to earn his wages, and still Laban never fully appreciated it or showed Jacob the love he needed...as a worker or a nephew/son-in-law.

What do Rachel and Leah say upon hearing this?

"What about our inheritance?"

Reeeeeeeeeeeal niiiiiiiiiice. But in a roundabout way, their line of thought leads them to understand that Laban has used and abused his wealth anyway, so they go along with what the LORD has been telling Jacob.

Its nice to get that confirmation from people when you tell them how God is working in your life. Though it may be hard for others to hear, and tainted by their own cynicism, what a great relief it had to be for Jacob to hear "do whatever God has told you."

So they load up and leave Paddan Aram, and hit the road to Canaan, without a word to Laban. I probably would have wanted to at least give my two weeks notice, but this was different. They crossed the Euphrates and headed for Gilead.

Three days later, Laban finds out that Jacob left. This guy must be kind of disconnected, or he has being enough property where someone as important and controversial as Jacob can leave without anyone knowing. He cuts out after Jacob, and catches up to him in Gilead. Then God appeared to Laban this time, telling him not to say anything to Jacob, good or bad. A warning mayhaps to leave him alone? Something tells me this won't end well.

Sure enough, first thing Laban does when he sets up camp is to confront Jacob. Like someone who is blinded by arrogance in not realizing what they have done wrong, Laban recounts what Jacob did to him. "Why didn't you tell me, I could have sent you off with tambourines and harps, and I could have kissed my grandchildren. I have the power to harm you, but God told me not to say anything to you, good or bad. Besides, someone took my household gods."

At least Laban didn't lie about what God told him. But this was no bargaining chip either. God was going to protect Jacob no matter what, and I think Jacob knew it.

Jacob didn't know Rachel took the gods, so he tells Laban he was afraid to tell him...fearing that Laban would take away Leah and Rachel and li'l Reuben and the rest. But he was not a thief, so anyone who would have taken the Gods would be a dead man. "Search me," he tells Laban.

In the course of rummaging through Jacob's and his family's belongings, Laban doesn't find the gods. He searches everything except Rachel's saddlebags. She cited a visit from her Aunt Flow as the reason she didn't stand up and let Laban go through her stuff.

Jacob has had it with the rummaging and the accusations by now, and lets Laban have it in a pretty fair rant. Laban's answer is that still everything is his. His daughters (Jacob's wives), his grandchildren (Jacob's children), and his flocks (per agreement, Jacob's flocks). All "his."

So anyway, they make a covenant at the witness heap, that neither side will cross over it. God was a witness here, in that if there was any wrongdoing, and the other side didn't know about it, God would. This is a snapshot of people realizing God's omniscience. Then they sacrifice, have a feast, Laban kisses his grandchildren good bye, and all is well. Right?

Ge. 30: Rachel goes Nuts; Jacob's Genetic Experiments

After seeing how ... fertile, I guess is the only word that comes to mind, Leah is in chapter 29, Rachel seems to become a total head case in chapter 30. Some bizarre behavior by that woman.

She pulls Jacob aside and gets all dramatic..."Give me children or I shall die." Obviously there is no such thing as being terminally barren. So Jacob rolls his eyes and retorts, "Am I in God's place that I've corked your uterus?"

In desperation, as her grandmother-in-law had done, she offers her husband her maidservant, Billhah, to sort of get things kick-started for Rachel to have a family. I'm sure there was little argument from Jacob. When Billhah conceives, Rachel for some reason reads this as vindication from God, and names Jacob and Billhah's son accordingly: Dan. Oh yeah, real vindicated. Leah actually gave birth to her sons. Billhah conceives again, and gives birth to Jacob's number six, Naphtali. Rachel, further down the spiral into craziness, sees this as victory in a great struggle with her big sis.

I am reminded of a similar situation in high school, when Jenison used to win. We'd be demolishing a lesser school such as Grandville or Hudsonville, and at some point the other team would finally score. We would over power their mild celebrations with roaring chants of "SCORE-BOARD...SCORE-BOARD..." In this case, the scoreboard was Leah 4, Rachel 2. In reality, Leah 4, Billhah 2, Rachel 0. But Rachel claims "victory" with the birth of Naphtali.

Leah, as a typical older sister, fights fire with fire and offers her maidservant, Zilpah to Jacob. Zilpah gives Leah "good fortune," so number 7 is named Gad. Number 8 is Asher, because of how "happy" he made Leah. Can you imagine being named "Happy?" That's essentially what Asher went through. He had no license to be a sourpuss. Whatsoever.

In the midst of all the son-jockeying, there is a story about Reuben finding some mandrakes in a wheat field. I had to go google what mandrakes were. Not Mandrake. Mandrake. Reuben presents these mandrakes to Leah. Rachel asked her for some. Leah protests, telling Rachel she took away her husband, and now she wants to take away her son's mandrakes too? (The nerve of this woman!) Rachel's like, "Fine, Jacob can sleep with you in return for mandrakes. The first Indecent Proposal and it's all here in the Bible.

So, Leah gets back at it, and Issachar is the result. God "rewarded" Leah. Then God "Honors" Leah again with Zebulun.

Then she has a daughter named Dinah.

Finally God opens Rachel's womb, and she gives birth to a son...Joseph.

It's interesting that these women perceive God honoring them, giving them victory, etc (and naming their sons accordingly) for not doing what God had originally intended: husband and wife are married and have kids. God made a promise to one person in every generation beginning with Abraham that their ancestors would be like sand on the shore. Did Jacob not share his dream? Especially with Rachel? Instead of taking God at His word, they take matters into their own hands, whether ignoring God's promise completely, or assuming that it was their behavior that was going to bring God's promise to fruition. Its been disaster as a result every time since then.

In previous generations, Isaac and Abraham were recorded as faithful, Godly men, stopping wherever they were, building altars and worshipping God. Not so with Jacob and his wives. It's not all that surprising, as Jacob's marriages were built on deception, and prayerlessness.

Anyway, Jacob wants to head back to the land of his family, so he asks Laban to let him go, citing the work he had done for him over the years. God's promise of being a blessing wherever Abraham's people go certainly was true in this case, as Laban's flocks increased and he was brought wealth he didn't have before Jacob showed up. Laban says that God even revealed this to him.

So the two deceivers make a deal with each other. And you know it will end with both sides being very satisfied.

Jacob tells Laban the wages he will take will be all the spotted or speckled sheep and goats.

They agree, and what does Laban do? He removes all the spotted or speckled sheep and goats, and puts them in the flocks of his sons. Then he runs off, taking a three day head start, while Jacob tends the rest of the flocks.

Then Jacob pulls some genetic manipulation stunt that is still kind of outside of my grasp.

He cuts branches from poplar, almond and plane trees and cuts away some bark, leaving white stripes of the inner wood. Then he put the branches in the watering troughs, so they would be seen by the thirsty flocks. When in heat, the thirsty flocks would mare in front of the striped branches and give birth to spotted and speckled young. He placed the stronger females in front of the branches so they would have strong, spotted young. The weak ones, he made them avoid the striped branches.

Uh, I can only think that it was through God that the striped branches "caused" the sheep and goats to have spotted young to become the property of Jacob. Unless almond and poplar are some kind of animal aphrodisiac that I don't know about.

Ge. 29: Jacob Earns a Wife. And another.

After Jacob's dream and refreshment in the LORD, he continues on his way east in chapter 29. He spies a well that has some sheep around it because...I guess, sheep like water. Apparently this well was so huge, it took multiple shepherds to hoist it off. Then, as you would expect, they would water their sheep. Then, after that, the shepherds would put the cap back on. The Bible is very precise, very specific here in how this well is used, and I thought, "Duh...thanks for explaining it, Captain Obvious. I know how to work an ancient well."

But then, I took some time to think about what I had read, and the significance of this drawn out explanation of something so pedestrian may just be that the practicality of "There's a place for everything, and everything in it's place" is an important concept even here. Lets not clutter the place up.

Anyway.

Jacob meets the shepherds, and asks where they are from. "Haran." Yessss...

"Do you know Laban?"

"Yes."

Awesome.

"Is he well?"

"Yes, and here comes his daughter Rachel with the sheep."

Its kinda funny how the story changes when Jacob sees Rachel coming. The first thing he tries to do is get rid of the shepherds. "It's still afternoon, water the sheep and uh...take them back to pasture or something."

Of course this wouldn't work. The shepherds probably know what's going on. "We can't water the sheep until the stone is rolled away." Hm...

By that time, Rachel had shown up, and the shepherds had blown Jacob's chance to be alone with Rachel and work his game. So he does what any guy would do. He lifts the huge stone off the well himself and watered his uncle's sheep. Check that out Rachel!

Then, it gets kinda weird, he kisses Rachel and begins weeping out loud. It must have been overwhelming to be kissing this hot babe, and to finally know you've reached the end of your journey...or...this leg of the journey.

It was a good thing for Laban to meet Jacob, and there was a lot of joy in their meeting. Laban said that Jacob was like his son.

Jacob was there a month, and was apparently working for Laban. For free. Laban, after a month of free labor, finally asks Jacob what he thinks he should be paid. This was always a difficult question for me in job interviews. I wanted to be honest, but I didn't want to queer the deal by asking for too much. I figured I was an above average worker, so I thought I deserved an above average wage. The word says that Leah had weak (delicate in NKJV) eyes, so I don't know if she just looked like a freak, was kinda pretty, or was blind or what.

But it didn't matter, because Rachel was all hot. That was the dealmaker for Jacob. He would work seven years for her. Jacob must be the type of guy that makes the ladies swoon. Verse 20 says that the seven years were like a few days because of his love for her. What an amazing love. What would seem like forever only felt like a few days for true love. I want to be able to love my wife like that always. My 8 hours away from her at work...I want those to fly by because soon I will see my wife again after that.

After the seven years of labor, Jacob makes no..er...bones about what he expects, saying to Laban, "Times up, give me my wife, I want to have sex with her." Now, I can't imagine saying that to my father-in-law...Mr. Prickett would...be disappointed to say the very least.

So, marriage night fun...fast forward, and...Jacob wakes up and discovers Leah in bed with him.

It must have been mighty dark, or Jacob must have been mighty drunk. I wonder who was all in on the scam, and for how long? Laban and Leah for sure, but did Rachel know? And it was a taste of Jacob's own medicine to finally have one pulled over on him. I wonder if he was able to be empathetic at all to his dad or brother.

Jacob's like, "What the...why?" Laban broke the deal, citing the local custom as the reason he pulled the wifeswap. Being the shrewd dealmaker he was, he offered Rachel for another seven years. He said, "Finish the bridal week, then you get Rachel." It was an offer Jacob couldn't refuse. So then Laban gives Rachel to him, and then Jacob works another seven years. I always thought Jacob had to put 14 years of work in before he got Rachel. The word doesn't dumb it down, it says Jake loved Rach more than Leah.

God looked down on this situation, and gave Leah the gift of children, while the favored Rachel was barren. Leah gave birth to Reuben, which means "corned-beef-with-cole-slaw-on-pumpernickel." Apparently. After Reuben, Simeon. Then Levi. The fourth was Judah. Then the Bible said she stopped having children.

God showed an amazing amount of mercy on Leah. While she was part of her father's deception, she probably had little choice in the matter. Traditiooooooooooon! The older gets married off before the younger. Sounds like a great work of literature...whats it called...10 Things I Hate About You. God lavished the blessing of child-bearing on her in a way she may not have asked for, but certainly desired.

The arc of how she names her sons reveals a bit of a spiritual journey: Reuben actually means "Misery." Simeon: "Hears." Levi: "Attached." Judah: "Praise." Out of Leah's misery, God hears. Leah became more attached to God, because of the continued emotional separation from Jacob. Finally, she praises God for who He is.

Levi is kind of a heartbreaker, because in this naming, and with the third son, Leah expected that Jacob would finally become attached to her. May finally love her. With Rachel still barren, and probably going out of her mind, I'm not confident that's at all true.

With Leah's unrequested blessings in mind, why wouldn't I ask God for the things I desire? What would stop me? And I wonder what ways God has blessed me without me asking for them? I'm sure there's something....

Ge. 27: Con-Man in the Family

By this time, Isaac is doddering around the tent, and mainly just being old. The word says his vision was failing, so basically all he could do is taste and smell.

He calls in Esau and tells him to go hunt him some of his favorite game, and cook him up something tasty so that Isaac could deliver his blessing. Isaac still favored Esau here, in spite of the LORD telling Rebekah in Gen 25:23 that Jacob would be served by Esau. Rebekah as we know favored Isaac, so she planned to have Jacob deceive his old man. The ruse: Dressing up as and smelling like Esau and bringing Isaac some goats prepared from their own flock. Jacob did not need to be coerced at all by his mother Rebekah. He basically went along with it from the beginning. But this was different from back in chapter 25 when Jacob took advantage of the short-sighted and hungry Esau by trading stew for his birthright.

And the Bible doesn't editorialize here. It reports. I decide. I decide that Jacob is a jerk for taking advantage of Esau, and then falsely claiming God provided for him when Isaac asked how "Esau" got the food so quickly, and Rebekah is just as conniving, and I wonder what changed between who she is here, and the camel-watering servant girl from chapter 24. Wealth?

So the trick works, and Isaac doles out this magnificent blessing upon Jacob, ending with "May those who curse you be cursed, and those who bless you be blessed." I wonder what ran through Jacob's mind as he heard these blessings spoken, realizing they were not intended for him, and what would have been.

So Jacob bails, and Esau returns, bearing tasty game. Sure enough, a horrified Isaac realized he's been tricked, but there's not much he can do now. It was heartbreaking to read how Esau reacted, bursting out with a loud and bitter cry. This was it, this was major, and how his future would be directed. And it was gone, and Esau knew it. So maybe he made some wrong decisions along the way, it doesn't detract from my sympathy for him.

"Bless me - me too, my father." I can imagine Esau weeping aloud in his desperation for something great from his father, anything good.

Isaac simply says, "Jacob took your blessing."

Esau refers to Jacob's name apparently meaning deception, in that he grasps the heel. He refers to the stew episode.

As Isaac gave Jacob everything, he could give Esau only servitude, poverty and violence. What a downer. So much so that Esau looked forward to mourning his father so he could kill Jacob. Rebekah found out about it, and warned Jacob to go hide with her brother Laban until Esau gets over it. Which...is going to take some kind of cosmic miracle.

Then, in order to cover for Jacob, she tells Isaac she's sick of these (local) Hittite women, creating a story that Jacob went to live with Laban to find a wife. Rebekah just has all the bases covered.

OK, so, I'm seeing a lot of intermarriage here, and close relatives hooking up. I don't mean to skim over it, just that I assume it was a better option than marrying pagan women outside of God's covenant. I don't mean to skim over it, because I shudder at the thought of marrying a half-sister or something, but this was how they did it back then, and apparently it simply wasn't as taboo as it is today.

Ge. 25: The Greatest Stew in the History of Man

Chapter 25 opens describing how Abraham took a second wife: Keturah. I think this is for a couple of reasons. The first is that maybe he was still trying to kick God's promise into gear. After all these promises, after all these signs, could he really be trying to take over and do it himself? To help God out perhaps? As we have seen previously, forcing God's hand can lead to problems. See Hagar. And let's not forget that in Gen. 17:19, God says He will establish His covenant with Isaac anyway.

The other reason, possibly, is that Abraham needed a companion. What's wrong with taking a second wife in case of death? He could have been lonely, and needed that type of intimacy. After all, "things" have only been "working" for a few years.

Anyway, Keturah gives Abraham a quintet of sons...maybe some daughters, but unless I'm mistaken, only in the case of Rebekah have daughters been mentioned. Crazy sexist Bible. Would these sons ally themselves with Isaac, or be enemies to Abraham's descendants? I don't know yet. If I had to venture a guess, I'd say probably not.

Abraham probably didn't endear himself to Keturah's sons by leaving all of his vast wealth and land to Isaac, although he did offer them some nice parting gifts before sending them on their way.

Abraham kicked off after 175 years, a good old age indeed as prophesied in Gen. 15:15. Isaac and Ishmael came together to bury their old man in Machpelah with Sarah. Apparently still on friendly terms with the Hittites.

Ishmael, as God promised, was fruitful and had 12 sons with the wife from Egypt that Hagar found for him as mentioned in Gen. 21:21.

Nebaioth, Kedar, Adbeel, Mibsam, Mishma, Dumah, Massa, Hadad, Tema, Jetur, Naphish and Kedemah. 12 sons. Just as the Angel of the LORD said to Hagar in Gen 16:12, they lived in hostility toward their brothers. Well, I guess that answers my question.

Isaac didn't have it as easy to begin with as Ishmael. Rebekah, as hot as she was, turned out to be barren. So he did what Abraham exemplified, Isaac took it to the LORD in prayer. Abraham must have raised Isaac in the culture of prayer, and walking with God daily...Chapter 22 being the most amazing example.

As promised, God heard Isaac's prayer and Rebekah became pregnant. With two. With two jostlers, who wrestled in the womb. This was all weird and scary to Rebekah. She asked God about it as well.

"What's the deal?"

"Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger." Kind of cryptic sounding, but actually pretty clear. That kind of thing would be hard for me to hear. I'd want my kids to get along, and be friends for life, especially if they were twins. So...not only will they possibly not get along, their whole lines will be at each other's throats.

The first on the twins to come out was all red and hairy, so he was named Esau, which I guess means "red" or "hairy" or a combination of both. Good thing he wasn't pink. The next little fella came out grasping Esau's heel, so he was given the name "Jacob," meaning heel-grasper. Hmm...where else have we heard about heels? Possibly unrelated, but there is some importance to the heel.

Esau grows up to be a skillful hunter, while Jacob kind of mellows out and hangs around the tents. Isaac, who loved the taste of wild game preferred Esau, but Rebekah favored Jacob.

OK, this one time, like Esau came back from hunting all starved, and momma's boy Jacob had made some red stew. Esau could not wait to get that stew in him. He's all like, "Quick, give me some stew." Jacob realized it was time to be an exploiter, and told Esau to sell him his birthright...his inheritance, you know? Drama queen Esau was like, "I'm dying anyway, what good is my birthright?" So he swore an oath to Jacob, that for a bowl of stew, Jacob would receive all Isaac owned. Nice deal, Esau, way to be.

Questions for God:
1. Wow, I...cool. I'm glad I can just ask for something. Why would you want to keep hearing the minutia begged for by all of humanity. Well, not all humanity...those who call upon you?

• Noah: 1046 - 1996
• Shem: 1548 - 2148
• Flood and the shortened lifespan - 1646
• Arphaxad: 1648 - 2086
• Shelah: 1683 - 2116
• Eber: 1713 - 2143
• Peleg: 1747 - 1956
• Reu: 1777 - 2016
• Serug: 1809 - 2039
• Nahor: 1839 - 1987
• Terah: 1868 - 2073
• Abraham: 1938 - 2113
• Ishmael: 2024 - 2161
• Isaac: 2038 -
• Jacob: 2098 -
  
• Esau: 2098 -