1 Ki. 1: I Guess I'm King

1 Kings 1:30 "I will surely carry out today what I swore to you by the LORD, the God of Israel: Solomon your son shall be king after me, and he will sit on my throne in my place."

David is too old and haggard to execute the duties of the office of the king of Israel at this point. How old and haggard? Well, if it gets too cold, he'll die. That's quite haggard. When a man gets that haggard, they hire a servant girl to come and lie next to him at night. The Bible points out that there was no hanky-panky going on here. So, why not a servant man? Anyway...I wouldn't want to be her, because dudes snore. And more. I just can't imagine it being a very pleasant job. I hope she was compensated well.

Meanwhile, Adonijah realizes David is too old and haggard, so he usurps the throne. He figures, "Eh, David can't handle it, I'll do it." Once again, he does it wrong. The king has repeatedly been chosen by God. Those who tried to take it meet unsightly ends. It almost works. He gets Joab's and Abiathar's support, but not the important people's support...Nathan, Benaiah...the mighty men. They weren't invited. Adonijah knew he was doing a shady thing. He knew David had promised the throne to Solomon.

David has the men, Zadok, and Solomon ride to Gihon, where he will be anointed. Can you imagine? A future king riding on a nasty mule into town to be anointed? Makes no sense. Anyway, they go through with it and create such a ruckus that even Joab is like "What's all that ruckus in the city?"

Jonathan, son of the priest busts into Adonijah's court or whatever, and says that David has anointed Solomon. Bad news for Adonijah. The party's over, and Adonijah's kingship melts away like so much sugar in the rain. This treason was punishable by death, but Solomon lets Adonijah live despite his rebellion. Maybe he will be a gracious king?